An open letter to Britney 'Hit Me Baby One More Time/I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman' Spears:
Dear Ms. Spears,
I'm appalled and frankly confused by your fashion sense in recent years, this is not to say that when you were in the height of your career it was any better. Let me explain. I had and still have an appreciation for your wackadoodle red carpet and stage looks. Take a look at exhibit A; in 2001 you and then boyfriend Justin Timberlake wore...wait for it, well you already know, matching denim ensembles! I know, I can't believe it either. Dude, it was a floor length denim gown with a sweetheart neckline with a matching denim evening bag. Really Brit Brit? Really? But let me tell you, it was so bad that it was good. Actually it was absurd but lets move on. It wasn't all bad, both 'I'm a Slave for You' and 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' VMA costumes were sexy and just f-ing fierce, for a reminder see exhibits B and C. So lets fast forward, after all the cooch flashing, shaved head and dating a pap; you have now resigned yourself to a uniform of of tanks and shorts (exhibits D). It's not good Brit, not good at all. And I won't get started on your weave, that's not really my place. Ok, take a look at exhibit E and I won't say another word. I hope you learned something from this; I am only harsh because I care. I actually love you. I'm not trying to rip you a new asshole but rather open your eyes to how cute you are; I just wish you would dress like you knew that.
Fan for life,